Demi Moore's Lost Dog

I haven't written for awhile because I've been in shock about the hurricane and flood that hit New Orleans. My heart goes out to all the people and pets who lost their lives and homes. A horrific event of such epic proportions is hard to wrap your mind around. That's why small canine-interest stories make thinking about the tragedy more manageable. The story that has captured the nation's imagination today is the separation of a little boy and his dog Snowball during the New Orleans evacuation. These types of stories break your heart.

And there's another lost dog story in the news today. Actress Demi Moore can't find her dog Louie. The mutt is a Yorkshire terrier-chihuahua cross breed. And Demi has plastered her neighborhood with lost dog posters written in English and Spanish. Now I'm as sympathetic to Yorkshire terrier mutts as the next dog. But I've got some questions. First, did she sort of name the dog after herself? (A two syllable name with the second syllable being the sound "ee".) And more important, does she really think her dog can read Spanish just because he's part chihuahua? These Hollywood types are unbelievable.

I've got to pee now.

Infiltrating Downtown Santa Cruz

The heart of downtown Santa Cruz is Pacific Avenue. It's several blocks long and attracts a wide range of tourists, locals, students and transients. Transient is a politically correct term for homeless people.

In most towns these are people I'd feel sorry for and try to help. They're down on their luck. They caught a bad break. Whatever.

In Santa Cruz, it's a little diferent. The transients on Pacific Avenue wear tie-dye clothes, smoke marijuana, talk about their vibes, hum Sugar Magnolia and ask passersby for spare change. They used to be called Deadheads.

At least when the Grateful Dead was still around -- before Jerry Garcia died 10 years ago -- the Deadheads would leave town when the band was on tour. Now they're here all the time!

And amazingly, Deadheads are allowed on Pacific Avenue but dogs are not! Why? The Santa Cruz politicos are afraid we'll ruin the tourist experience by soiling their precious Pacific Avenue paradise. Like these Deadheads won't? Their idea of recycling is throwing candy bar wrappers, cigarette butts and other trash on the sidewalk where they're sitting. And don't even think about objecting to this crass behavior. "Well, hey man, we don't want the landfill to overflow." Yeah, right.

But the politicos think these characters make Santa Cruz a unique and colorful. That they attract tourists. Please! When was the last time you visited anywhere and enjoyed being harangued by someone wearing tie-dye? Especially when they were so stoned they couldn't remember why they asked you for spare change. Oh yeah, that's a big tourist magnet.

Anyway, I've decided to go to Pacific Avenue -- even though dogs aren't allowed. I'm wearing my Grateful Dead T-shirt to blend in with the crowd. I'll let you know what happens.

I've got to pee now.

A Visit to the Farmers Market

I dropped by the Farmers Market in downtown Santa Cruz yesterday afternoon. That's a weekly event where the hippies temporarily abandon their meth labs up in the hills and swarm into town to consume less lethal nutrients. There were the usual assortment of booths vending everything from veagan "meats" to fruits and flowers. That's if you could get to them.

First you had to navigate a guantlet of political proselytizers and their petitions. These people are more annoying than carnival barkers -- and less subtle. "Keep corporate money out of politics." "Require solar power." "Free the Area 51."

Hey, shut up already. And get away from me!

Yes, the back to nature movement is well represented at the Farmers Market. And yes, aboriginal man was a hunter and gatherer. But he wasn't gathering signatures for a stupid petition! So stop hunting me. Besides, dogs aren't allowed to vote in Santa Cruz -- yet.

I've got to pee now.

A Tree Grows In Brooklyn But Redwoods Die In Santa Cruz

The news is not good in Santa Cruz today. We're in the fourth day of a bus driver job action that has significantly slowed mass transit. The first homicide of the year occurred yesterday. And the University wants to cut down three redwood trees to make way for parking spaces. Is this really three more homicides? Many tree huggers would think so.

Ordinarily, I'm opposed to slaughtering trees. Because it definitely has an environmental impact on me -- if you know what I mean. But the University doesn't allow dogs on campus. So it doesn't affect me one way or the other.

A University spokesman notes that the trees are only 12 years old. Like that makes it OK? If three 12-year-old kids were going to be cut down, you can be sure there'd be a firestorm of protest. Besides, tree years aren't the same as human years. And I should know.

Want to know more about this outrage? You can read about it in the Santa Cruz Sentinel.

I've got to pee now. (But not on University redwoods.)

Little Killing Machines?

A few days ago, a California state appeals court overturned plans issued by Santa Cruz City officials. Of course, this isn't unusual given the plans routinely proposed in Santa Cruz -- becoming sister cities with a ghost-town, coming out in favor of reparations to citizens of Atlantis, opposing new development so that open space is available for flying saucer parking.

But this time, the court may be wrong. And I'm taking it personally. The fight involves letting dogs go unleashed at Lighthouse Field State Beach. The court sided with a neighbors group that argued that Santa Cruz didn't analyze the environmental impact of unleashed dogs.

Oh please. Give me a break. Once again, environmental impact is being used as a sword to attack anything people don't like. And these people don't like dogs. That's what it's really all about.

One of the members of the neighborhood group that the court sided with said that dogs are potentially "little killing machines that you don’t have any control over."

Oh yeah? Well, bite me.

You can see an article about this whole controversy in the Santa Cruz Sentinel. I've got to pee now.

Welcome To My World

Many of you have asked me to comment about life in Santa Cruz. It's a city of approximately 55,000 people located on the coast of California -- about 75 miles south of San Francisco and 40 miles north of Monterey. The town is home to the eponymous University of California at Santa Cruz. But more about that another time.

You should also know that Santa Cruz is often linked with two other California cities -- Berkeley and Santa Monica. Together they form their own version of the Bermuda triangle -- a strange vortex where time stopped in the 1960s. All three cities are populated with ageing hippies, Deadheads, New Age types, vegetarians and community activists. In addition, Santa Cruz has some quirky residents.

Fortunately for Berkeley and Santa Monica, their cities are integrated into the economies of the San Francisco Bay Area and Los Angeles. Santa Cruz gets by mainly on tourism. It's where Silicon Valley goes to the beach. The Santa Cruz economy used to have a technology sector. But there's not much of that left. Disc drive maker Seagate is still in the area. So is Plantronics and Borland. But Borland is gradually moving to Silicon Valley. It's already moved its executives there. Of course, given the fact that Borland has been losing money for years it's probably an advantage to have their leadership as far away as possible. Because dumbness can be contagious. Really. You can look it up.

Anyway, I'll let you know how things are going here in Santa Cruz. Also in Silicon Valley, the Bay Area and California in general. I've got to pee now.